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Behold My Evil Plan!!

Posted by ebowen On May - 4 - 2009

So check it…I found this evil plan generator over at darksites.com and have a new plan for world domination…unfortunately I’ve turned out to be the classic Bond villain and have decided to share my nefarious plot waaay before I have you out of my way…so now that I have your captive attention (Google says you stick around for an average of 20 seconds so 90% of you are already gone):

My objective is simple: Soul Accumulation.

My motive is a little bit more complex: Sadistic pleasure

Stage One

To begin my plan, I must first seduce a pope. This will cause the world to choke on their food, horrified by my arrival. “Who is this ripe bastard? Where did he come from? And why does he look so good in a robotic exoskeleton?” You will all ask yourselves…

Stage Two

Next, I must steal the internet. This will all be done from a obsidian citadel, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will weep uncontrollably, as countless hordes of classic thugs hasten to do my every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, I must activate your armageddon clock, causing the dead to rise from the grave. My name shall become synonymous with fuzzy bunnies, and no man will ever again dare interrupt my sentences ever again. Everyone will bow before my cunning intelligence, and the world will have no choice but to restore my credit rating.

It’s a bit like a mad lib now that I think about it but it’s quite fun…

evil-tux-by-jigo

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